Jokes, Snippets...

Got an email from a friend entitle 'Moral of the stories'. It was so damn funny, well i better share with you all, readers, followers.

The first, Sharing, not keeping to yourself.

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.





Then, second, keep updated all the time

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Then, third, know your place

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.



Then, fourth, play safe, be the top

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.



Then, fifth, bullshitting can only get you there and won't retain you

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



Jeffrey

Departed...

The news is, our Chief Minister (Sarawak) wife pass away yesterday. Well, nothing much to say though....

Go to Malaysiakini.com to see the full news. At least they are more detail in the sense. I just too lazy to say anything on her departure, but still wanna tell the world that she pass away...

Jeffrey

Current Mood.

Stressed........

Travel and Holiday, Rest... Snippet...

It is always be my dream to have a job that require me to travel a lot. I think most of the guys in my age are thinking so as well.

Well, didn't actually have much traveling since last year but did manage to get to some places and took some nice photos.

Was quite tired of the load here in office and from myself lately (for the past 1 year). I mean, i really do not have much time travel and enjoy myself. Partly be my financial. Need to help family up on the financial part so not much left every month. So try myself to do something locally that i can really enjoy myself. Like go-kart recently.

Been offered to go to Putrajaya next month for a camp organize by UUM Pribumi Investment Camp (UPIC). Be there from 15 May till 31 May. It is a win win situation for me. First, can travel and second i can learn more. Knowing that I'm a learner, so opportunity like this, i will never try to let go. Ha ha....

So be back here in June and hopefully can finish up my thesis final draft and submit it for examination. Can i manage it?

Recently also been offered by a PhD student from Cambridge an RA job. I have not replied her yet. Hope i can find someone that can do it. I mean, person that are not shy and willing to talk to different people from different background. And able to communicate in different slang. Really, hard to find people like this. I can do it, but i do not think i have much time for it. Priority is priority, right?

Really, hope after all this hustle i will be able to travel to an island with my beloved one and have a nice holiday-rest there. I like islands. I should be an islander one day. Ha ha...

Yesterday and today was actually in lazy mode. If i am hardworking enough, i can really finish draft the last two chapters in my thesis. Really... But still, lazy is lazy so better be lazy for this weekend and next Monday start all over again. Right? Ha ha...

People was saying I'm to workaholic, so i better slow down this few days. Or else, really will get a permanent head damage before i even start do my PhD. ha ha....

Jeffrey

Velocity Go-Kart (review)

Been there last night with James and Alex. Ok, it is not that fast, but worth the money and effort. At least i beat the shit out of them and rank first though did accident one time.

Did not manage to get photo but damn it, i have a nice race. We did a 20 round with 17 round actual race. My best lap, 30.+++ second. Ok for a starter. The record time on that track is 24.+++ second. So my next target is to get at least 25.+++ second.

Possible? Yeah... Lets try out and see.

Oh ya, the place is located after Bintawa police station. at the road side. You can see big sign board there. Next time, i gonna ask Willy there when he back from Singapore.

Wanna see some pictures? Go to this URL, http://twvsk.blogspot.com.

You will know what i mean here. See ya.

Jeffrey

Velocity Go-Kart

I just heard this from Abang Nasir (FEB Staff) yesterday and decided to go check out that place yesterday. Sadly, i can't find it.

Well, it is not my first time Go-Kart. Actually back in Sarikei, i have try Go-Kart few time. We used to have one there but the demand is very very little, that why it is closed down after a while. But the field is still there. And it is an outdoor one.

So, just now have called the manager of that place (i get the address and contact number from a blog) and did ask him where it is. Now i know where it is and will go there with Will and the rest for a trial. I think will be worth the money and effort lar and both me and Will love racing a lot. Just that we don do it here in the streets. Police.... ha ha.

Will check that place up and post it up here. Chao...

Jeffrey

Beers, wonderful beers....

Beer... The magic water that come from the wonderful brewer. Never have enough, never will be enough.
Have this two box finish last night during the match between Liverpool and Chelsea. And Guess what, Chelsea go on and Liverpool say bye bye to Champions League.

That is a damn lot of beer cans.

Jeffrey